Wednesday, December 22, 2004

No Bodys Fault But Mine

I am sitting in a lonely lonesome town, deprived of some of the things that I would want the most and no marks for guessing what song I am listening to since the title of this post gives it away. It's Zepplin's "No Bodys Fault But Mine". Before anything else I would once again like to toast to the musical genius that was Led Zepplin!!
I sat back today, feeling confused, about what was to be done, what had been done and what I am thinking of doing. I have led a severly hedonisitic year. Like awfully, done most of what family, friends, religion etc told me not to do, kept satisfying my ego, kept satisfying my urge, lived a life in vain, lived a life that revolved around the present and the immediate future. Never thought about an afterlife, never thought about repentance, found an excuse for everything and managed to define gray areas. The result - I have just realized that I cant get what I wanted the most, since I am sure that hedonism is one thing that she would not support or approve of. Its just a crash-boom-bang situation. Like the time when one throws a party when the parents are away and the parents return sooner than expected.
All this led me to believe one thing. I have lost the game. I have lost the battle for which I was spawned, so to say. I have become the person that I once would have detested. Some have said that theres hope in relizaton, but the way I look at it, if you are destined for hell then make the most of this world.
Hence the title, its no bodys fault, my life in vain is a fault for sure, but none besides my self is to be blamed for it! I would unfortunately continue to live for the present. My unicorn would contiue to be just that. I would seek gains in the society, I would seek to make a name, a reputation, a position that quite a few people may envy, but they might not know, what I have given up for it... everything, to say the least!

The silver lining, Zeppling rocks ;) !!!

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