Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Two for the Wanderers!

Jammie has yet another great jammie like idea. A blog on every wednesday about a certain word thats sent to a fast growing group of people refered to as Wednesday Wanderers. I couldnt pass the opportunity to be categorized as wanderer so heres my post for this weeks word - TWO!

When I think of the word two - I cant help thinking about the song two to tango. And I write this, in my head I am humming - two to tango two to move ....but two holds much reverence in the life of this individual who was, ironically enough, spawned on the eve of two 2s of October.

Two is for fulfilment, end of a cycle, reaching the goal, finding a meaning, redemption.
Two signifies harmony and balance as well as dynamism and fluidity in all human endeavours
Two describes the sibling that I never had as well as some partners I have had at various instances in life
Two is the number of countries I have lived in and the number of cultures that have influenced me
Two reminds me of my best friends who arent single or the number of people they are immideatly responsible for.
Two belongs to the year two thousand and the concerts exhibitions and carnivals that four (two+two) people organized through the year.
Two has memories of Terminator 2 and Arnie's Hasta La Vista Baby
Two is the number of goals that Englands been scoring in their world cup matches (except with Paraguay and that was two minus 1)
Two is for two of my favorite women whom ill host for the next week at my place
Two to me is what two is to you - reflexive and transitive - that everything goes away from and comes back to. Two is associative, the well loved number that everyone like to hang out with. Two is powerful especially when you see it for the price of one. Two represents planning especially when it comes to growing a family.

So whats the bottom line you ask. Two is the essence of existence, the duality of nature.the single identity that represents adam and eve, balck and white, good and evil and if humanity could be quantified, ranked or be represneted by a number it would probably be TWO - which happens to be the blog word of the day! (see the coming back to the begining with two part :p )

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Dive

My guts were churning with anxiety, there was a weird taste in my mouth, a bit of acid a bit of sweet like putting the tounge on a 9 volt alkaline battery. The operator was giving me instructions while hooking up the body brace that was suppose to be the thin line between life and death for me.
Once hooked we will turn you over horizontally and slowly lift you to the top. When all is set we would count down and ask you to pull the rip cord.
I noded my head and asked Dont I get a helmet? The operator responded that my head was completly safe and nothing could happen to it. And with that the cord that was tied to my body brace slowly got tense and lifted me slightly of the ground holding me parallel to it. The hydraulic platform that I had been standing on was slowly lowered away with the operator in it. I suddenly felt tension flowing in the cord as it started to elevate me.
Millimeters became centimeters, that convereted to inches and feet. As I was being elevated I could see the marking on the metal arch besides me. 10 feet, 25 feet, 50 feet. The people become pets and ants with every few feets of elevation. Far away I could see highway 400 with saturday traffic speeding away on it. The 18 wheeler trucks appearing no bigger than a small model. As I saw the 70 feet mark, a certain fear of height took birth in my heart. The Toronto wind with all its chill was as much to blame for the goose bumps as the venture it self. By the 75 feet mark I could not keep my eyes open. While still being elevated further up I recited the Kalma in my heart and recited some duas that my grandmother would recite when id ask her to pray for me.
By now I had come to halt. My eyes were still shut tight, I had reached the 115 feet mark. The speakers on the tower came to life with my operators voice. 5,4,3,2,1 Tower One You Are Ready for Launch. A sense of fear came over me and I thought it was better to be on the ground than 115 feet above it. And with my eyes still closed, I said bismillah and tugged hard on the rip cord.
All I could hear was the voice of Jim Morrison singing this is the end my friend. I rapidly descended towards the ground; I thought life could pretty much be over. However, I didnt want it to be over with my eyes shut. I wanted to see the end head my way. I opened my eyes and realized that I was heading towards the ground at a speed that my body had never experienced before.
I screamed OOOOOOHHHHH FFFFFFAAAAAA ........ and I swooped over the ground like an eagle picking up a pray while still inflight. The scream of fear soon became a scream of pleasure and I was shouting my trademark "woo-hoos" as I swung like a pendulum, suspended to the 115 feet tall metallic truss whose summit I had been at only a few seconds ago.
I continued swinging around for another a few minutes, flapping my arms, singing I am like a bird, claiming I had met god, gleeing with the fact that I was alive and breathing. For a second I thought maybe thats what freedom feels like. I saw the operator again he was holding a rod. Grab the end he yelled. I grabbed it.It was a elastic retardation mechanism that brought me to a stop right over the hydraulic platform.
Another minute passed before the operator unbuckled me and as I walked out of the staging area a few people in the queue inquired how was it? Best thing I have ever done I responded. better than sex quipped another person almost better my friend, almost better I said. And with a huge grin on my face, I walked away from the sight of my first bungee jump.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Country Roads, Take Me Home!

I fell in love for the first time in class 9. The hazel eyed girl just left me numb. I feared being a fool in front of her and feared expressing my feelings to her since her mother was not only a relative of my mothers friend but also my english teacher. Thus I left her hints, wrote poems for her and read them out aloud in front of the whole class while staring in those deceptively deep hazel eyes. I sent her valentines gift, dedicated her songs at Dee Jays, gave her expensive gifts, the whole shebang but never said anything to her on her face.
One of my friends, who had picked up what was going on, said something in a hopeful dreamy eyed way that only only a 14 year old could say. If you want her bad enough you will get her, she will know and she will call you. I guess I didnt want her that bad since she is now the mother of a child, not mine, and happily married to the childs father as well. The only good thing to come out of that stint was I learnt to rely on hope and push it, since in my want for the said lady I spent tons of cash over a period of two years to no avail. Just hoping that she would "know" and she would "call" me.
Today I learned that a trip that I had been eagerly planning maybe in a bit of jeoprady and almost instantly I was hoping that Karachi could hear my pleas and need for its company and "call" me. A few people very dear to me are getting married in July and Augsut, I had been planning this trip since last December. However I was told by my lawyer today that following the recent arrests in Toronto of suspected terrorists it was being suggested that people with out permanent residence papers not leave Canada till such documentation is made available. I hate lawyers and bearaucrats equally and I guess legalities and beraucratic structures are both coming in the way of a trip I had been yearning for so intensly.
In a typical lawyer like way my lawyer just spun the words, you could get it anytime buddy, tomorrow, next week, next month, its a wait and see situation. Oh how easy for you to say that buddy, you arent thousands of miles away from the city you grew up in where some of your dearest friends are requesting you to join them at the most important event in their life, are you!
Much like the lawyer, a co-worker of mine failed to see why I was annoyed with the development. I have been away from Karachi, the only place Id ever call home, for three years now. Over this span of time I have lost my feel for the city. Someone mentions Bar B Q tonight or Bundo Khan with a sense of pleasure and I cant relate since I dont have a memory of the taste. Some one bitches about the dry fish trawlers polluting the Sunset boulevard and I nod my head in agreement but I cant remember the smell. I have completly forgotten the smoothness of the breeze that flutters through the hair while walking along the beach or the crackling sound of makai as it roasts sand oven.
When I read Dawn, I get startled at the number muggings and robberies. I get shocked at nightlong power failures and stories of traffic jams. I am surprised by stories that are as inherent to Karachi as the revelling youth who throng the beaches on the eve of independence day riding motorcycles without silencers or the makrani donkey cart racing that takes over the streets of clifton on occasional weekends. In short I am slowly becoming what I promised I would never become, a disenfranchised Karachite. A faker who claims to have passion for something that he has trouble relating to.
This trip was supposed to reinvigorate the Karachite in me and if it doesnt happen the Karachite would continue its slow and steady march towards becoming what urdu best describes as a dhoobi ka kutta. So heres my plea, my one true love, my home, my lovely city, call me, bring me home. I have HOPE that I am meant be there. I am prepairing for it like I would under normal circumstances I am taking all the chances, so you take your chance on me as well Karachi, call me!